When she knocked on the door, it swung open, exposing Van Holt, sitting on the floor playing with toy army vehicles. He looked a bit surprised, pushed his toys to the side and greeted Kelly, "yes, yes, I'm glad you could keep your appointment, Kelly. Sorry about the toys, I sometimes play army to relieve stress."

Meanwhile, Perry adjusted the video camera to look at the visitor. He was curious as it was the first time he had seen anyone in Dr. Van Holt's office, other than Van Holt himself.

"As I was telling you earlier, Perry wanted to meet you before his travels. I can see he is watching us now as the video camera light is on. Knowing you are his travel agent, he wants to ask you about his journey. I think he is a bit nervous as it will be the first time he has ever left the building. Do you think you could answer a few questions for him?"
2 Votes

The word 'think', in choice node 2, should be 'thing'. Paragraph 3 should be enclosed in quotes.

Made those fixes for you. :-)

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